Words have power
Few things hurt worst than someone you love telling you, what you are NOT. Ineffective communication can ruin a relationship. So do u...
1) Opt out of sharing your feelings because you don’t want to risk losing the relationship.
or do you say
2)The relationship is flawed and unproductive if I can't assume the responsibility of being honest with the other person.
I’m both of those people. I think we all are. It’s the ‘Pick your battles’ thing and it’s the ‘I love you so I’m going to require you to be better’ thing. As I position myself to write this entry I realize that it’s NOT what you say, It’s how you say it.
I dated a guy once who in the middle of an argument said
’You are no different from any of the other actors, your walk will be like everyone else’s walk...'
We broke up, lol. I spent a lil over a year in that relationship and he and I were friends for a few years prior to but my point is. Of all that time, I REMEMBER MOST, HIM TELLING ME WHAT I WAS NOT. Of course, afterwards he spent time vehemently expressing ‘what he actually meant’ and how it was just tough love to push me to be better. It’s funny because I believe him but I also know that you must know your audience. Duhhh, I'm an ACTOR if words didn't effect me, I wouldn't be able to act. Words hurt more than a punch fool.
Growing up My mom and I would talk about sex, drugs or poor life decisions but we never ONCE had a blatant conversation about me having sex, doing drugs or making poor life decisions. She used others, hypothetical, friends, so & so’s etc but I think I was always receptive because I never felt attacked, be little, or accused. I knew how she viewed the situation so I also knew how she would feel If I became apart of the said situation and for the most part, I stayed away from things because I didn’t want to disappoint her. It wasn’t the most direct approach but the goal is to be effective not direct.
Listen, there are things that each of us do well. Just as there are things that each of us could stand to approve upon but never, do I believe, there is a time to discredit who someone is to show them what they are not. Trust and believe we ALL know our own flaws. You don't break someone down to prove a point. It hurts. Exposing an opportunity for someone to become better may sting but blatantly speaking death into someone burns.
I pray for the words to help some of the people in my life that I feel are making poor decisions or failing to make any decision that will require them to be their best. Failing to ever make a decision that requires FAITH means your failing to trust GOD.
I also pray healing for anyone who has been told what they are not, especially when every day they make choices to be their best. You are! You’re growing! And every thing you are not, makes you everything YOU ARE. You ARE perfect, because you are exactly where GOD has you, so he can use you.
I pray each day we assume the responsibility to be the very best representation of ourselves. To love and speak with an intention to heal, To ask God for His guidance and His heart as we seek to help others and may the perception of others be received but not ingested. Believe what GOD says about you and make a decision to look more like HIS words each day.
'Use soft words and hard arguments' -english proverb
Be Blessed Friends, Thanks for reading.