HE'S PROTECTING ME FROM MYSELF



While washing my face last night I got excited! Literally, God’s plan just smacked me in the face. No, I don’t have his plan figured out but I was able to draw a parallel. As I walk this ‘faith based life’ I am constantly drawing parallels. That’s it! My faith is clearly a reflection of the many reasons he has given me throughout my life to trust him today and forever more.  So when it hit me last evening, I couldn’t help but get excited about his presence.

 To catch you guys up to speed.. I’m looking for a place, I’m updating my comp card, portfolio and business cards. I’m shooting a webseries, I’m preparing for a pretty big meeting with someone I truly respect and admire and I’m auditioning ohhh and I’m wearing a ponytail, haaaa!

Any whooo, I realized that this is one of the times in my life when God is protecting me from myself.

          “There was a time when I would have said yes to that engagement. “

Now I want that quote to linger for awhile so I won’t directly address it but, I will elaborate on the “now relevance” of that statement.

God is so amazing that he has placed me in the perfect amount of chaos to see if I’m really prepared to handle where it is that he is prepared to take me. You see everything in life is relative. 

You can go LEFT, RIGHT or just STEP

 In this parallel LEFT= OBVIOUS… it’s my dominate hand, it’s not the easy road but it’s the road most expected. It’s not ideal, but it makes since and someone like me, would be able to make it work. However going left rite now would be to fix one problem that’s current however it could present potential long term problems in the future. Left is the first thing out of your friends and family mouths when you tell them the problem, situation and/or circumstance.. It usually starts like this

“Why don’t you just… So you going to just….So why not, just….” It’s goes like this because this decision requires no faith. It’s the obvious, what makes sense decision to make… For me I like to think LEFT presents some form of a security blanket. It’s what THEY expect me to do or at least what they expect me to WANT to do…

Then there’s right. For me, RIGHT = this is way to easy, so I know it’s too good to be true. Right doesn’t force me to grow, right is what I would do if I didn’t trust that everything in life has a reaction to your action. Right is like me winning the Mega million but having to give up acting. Right is the second thing your friends and family tell you to do when they think you may be potentially, possibly, kinda, a little bit in over your head.  However, to me right is the convenient option God raises up to show me a bit of sunshine in the middle of a thunderstorm but, it teaches me to stand and work through the storm and thank him the entire time for the lil bit of sun that will keep me pushing.  Right appears to be the answer but, Gods wants it to be used as simply one of his signs..

Than there’s STEP. STEP= this next move may be scary but your capable. It’s the scariest but it’s the most faithful. It’s the loneliest but the most rewarding. It’s the closest yet the farthest away.

I think about the times in life when I went Left or Right and the times when I just Stepped..and that’s when I realize God is protecting me from myself.

I’m a fixer.. I literally will think myself through every possibly situation to the pt. where I can MAKE Left and Right work. So I would go Left, step,step, left, bare right, make the first left, than step.. etc. etc.  Child when I think about  it, if God wouldn’t have protected me from myself I would have been married a couple times, living in another country with tattoos and a dog. 

I say ALL of this to say.. I finally realize that Left and Right is no longer an option for me. It’s not even appealing. I just want to step because stepping allows me the freedom of faith. Remember in Pretty Woman when Edward offered Vivian his business card and the money and the ability to stay in contact and she turned it down and said  a few months ago that would have been enough and it’s a good offer but I want the fairytale.. Well that’s what I’m talking bout.. There was a time when I would have said yes to that engagement and went left and went right but rite now, I know what God is offering me if I just step…

You know, this mission I’m on is a lonely one. It gets so challenging that there are times when you just want something to seem like it’s easy. Something that will just take a little weight off your shoulders so you can put all your weight on pursuing your career..but this is my process.  You don’t have to worry about me expecting or accepting those "engagements" because they would simply be temporary fixes and I'm seeking a permanent solution, so I’d rather STEP!

No Sugar: Don't get caught up in the obvious easy fixes that people expect you to accept. Gods creating road blocks and detours so you don't get so tempted with the left and the rights.. You don't have to know how your going to get there, just step and know that he is ordering your steps. So don't push so hard to go left, there is something blocking it from happening for a reason...

                                                     JUST STEP, he'll handle the rest

Thanx so much for your support


"The proof is in the sacrifice"

        Nikiva Dionne

Comments

  1. Very Inspiring cuz, maybe you have a future as a writer ;)

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  2. Malcolm is right. Very well written. I may have to hit you up for some input on the scripts for the series.
    But you really motivated and inspired me with this one. I can see in my own life where I may be going left/right, rather than JUST STEPPING.

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  3. Thanx cuz.. It means so much that you make it a point to read my blog.. As a fellow artist i know you know how much it means.. so thank you.

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  4. MATTHEW! well woulda ya know, I didn't even know you were following my blog.. BIG SMILE. Thanx a bunch and u guys are doing an amazing job with that script, it's really an "actors script" and I'm so excited to bring one of your characters to life. Thanx so much for reading!

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  5. "Take the first step in Faith. You dont have to see the whole staircase, Just take the first step." -Dr. MLK Jr. Your blog post reminded me of this quote instantly and it is so true. Just Step out on Faith and trust that the path will be lit and you will be guided. Amen! And you are not alone, you have me another artist who can relate to your journey and a fellow blogger who supports your writing :-)

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  6. Aww thanx so much..Please know that I have visited your blog for inspiration on rough weeks :-) and to jus see your smile!
    Thanx a bunch for your support, like you said as a fellow artist I know you are fully aware of how much it means to have your peers feedback. Thnx

    ReplyDelete

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