Iron sharpens Iron

I read a pretty dope acting book recently and one of my major takeaways was COMPETITION. It focused heavily on trying to get actors, actress in particular, to be ok with competing. In fact, thrive off of competition.  I’m probably one of the most competitive people I know and I can name sooo many times throughout life that my competitive energy was a direct reflection of my success.  Similarly, of course ACTORS know we have to compete. We compete with hundreds of people a day, we face more rejection in a month than some people in a life time blah blah blah but what happens when suddenly you get something another actor didn't expect you to get? SHADE! thats what happens, tons of shade!

I HATE when you get to the place in a relationship with a fellow actor where suddenly it doesn’t work anymore. The conversations become all about what you/they have booked. It’s almost like people are perfectly willing to accept you how you are the day they met you but they don’t want to or either can’t seem to accept you as your situation changes for better or worse.

For instance, if we met and I was currently booking commercials consistently and you become one of my biggest supporters. Every time I turn around your saying, how successful I will be next week with commercials, you tell others how much,  I book commercials etc but the second I say oh I went in for Scandal or I booked that Web series, the entire tone of the convo shifts. Suddenly you aren’t able to receive me outside of how you first saw me. On the contrary, as actors careers shift it’s almost like ohhh you aren’t currently on so and so well, there is NO KNOWLEDGE I can gain from this convo because I’m doing …

I think when the ‘friendships’ become that, it’s because it NEVER truly was friendship. It was opportunistic. It was mutually beneficial at the moment. It’s crazy because in this business at any time your career can change so how do you place any value in where someone is NOW, where they were THEN or where you think they should be LATER? As actors we DO NOT control our CAREER ebs and flows.  So how do you not approach relationships with a long haul perspective? If 5% of actors are consistently working you are competing with 90% of actors who want to be that 5% and another sensible 5% who want to increase that 5%. How can you compete with the best if you haven’t learned how to compete with your friends? Iron sharpens Iron. Why not get together and run scenes together, or improv or go to workshops then have coffee after to compare notes, how can you not watch every video your ‘friend’ post and give feedback? How can you see your friends show or commercial and NEVER say ANYTHING about it? How can you call to check status but never call to say, How can I make you better this week? Realize that the best we can ever be is OURSELVES so no matter what I accomplished this week, I didn’t take food from your mouth, I was MY BEST SELF and that is what they wanted, THIS WEEK. 

I encourage ACTORS to call their other actor friends in honesty. Simply focus to accomplish three things in every conversation

1)   Express your feelings about what YOU have done (wining isn’t healthy, express…)

2)   Honestly assess what you need to do to make yourself BETTER ( brainstorm, fresh perspective)

3)   ASK your friend, How can I help you be better this week? ( Your most like Jesus when u live to serve)

Be a blessing! Be the BEST, YOU by realizing your best isn't in your success it's in your service.
and this week I'm going to work on forgiveness, because I have thrown major shade when I realize a
'friend' isn't mutually supportive.

Thanks for reading!

Nikiva Dionne

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