How do you like LA?

There are some days if I were asked this question there would be a resounding HECK NO! This is one of those days. One of the days when you feel like you are misunderstood and under appreciated because you lack the desire to full fill a certain public persona. All I can think in my mind is, If I give people what ‘they want’ or what ‘makes them feel comfortable’ than I may never have the opportunity to actually give them ME. For someone who loves the person God made me to be, that would be DEATH.

WE are all on our own personal journey. I couldn’t imagine going back to Baltimore and trying to ACT like I’m the same person I was, when I’m not. The reality of it is, the people who LOVE YOU will respect the JOURNEY you are on. They don’t want or expect you to ‘put on’.  However in Hollywood, people ‘PUT ON’ so much that people don’t know how to receive someone who doesn’t respond with the intention to please someone else. Ie: people pleasers.

When I was leaving NY and told them I was moving to LA everyone said “Man, why you want to go out there with all those phony people?” and my response was, I honestly would rather see a fake smile than no smile from these grumpy NYers.  Boy, how I’ve changed.  So often, I wonder if the very people I’m praying for are actually praying against me. If the people I call my friends are only calling to see what auditions I had last week, if the guy I date only dates me because I look the part of how he wants to be perceived.  If the chick that said let’s do lunch will actually make an effort to one day DO LUNCH. It’s seriously INCREDIBLE how much of what is in LA is actually MAKE BELIEVE.

I have a theory. The reason SO MANY people never reach the desired or destined level of impact is because they are so afraid to BE who GOD HAS CALLED THEM TO BE. I remember when I joined City of Refuge when I 1^st moved to LA, people would say, “Bishop Noel Jones drinks you know, He hits on girls and I even heard he has sex ohhh and girl do you know he a bishop and he had a divorce.”

I find it INCREDIBLY GOD that that very same BISHOP once said “You can’t rob the world of Who you are suppose to be. No one can be YOU, better than you.” I pray for Bishop Noel Jones so much. I pray for him because EVERYONE knows their own demons. Let me tell you, if God called me to preach RIGHT NOW, I don’t believe I would say OK, immediately. Even knowing it’s his voice. The reason I couldn’t scream YES immediately is because I KNOW ME.  I knew my calling YEARS ago but I chose perception over promise. I look allot more like NIKIVA than I did years ago, and I can’t imagine what the ‘WORLD’ would have said about me if they knew me then. So many people miss the blessing because they are caught up in the wrapping.  So if Bishop Jones is in fact struggling with the demons people spread about him, I thank God Bishop Jones didn’t deny HIS call because he thought HE wasn’t good enough. Perhaps he is blessing someone else in the midst of his pain and I believe that HIS healing is in HIS obedience to follow God’s direction even when he knows he has his own ugly.

So to answer the question, how do I like LA? The weather is awesome, The opportunities are a blessing and I LOVE IT because if any place in the world needs someone who is HONEST, UNCOMPROMISING, FULL OF INTEGRITY, PURPOSED and on ASSIGNMENT from GOD, than that place is LA. So, I’m here to be ME. God, I want you to know that you can send ME and while they will get this flawed being, I know you saw fit to send ME to represent YOUR GLORY.