Reality Check

My family guilt me into coming home for the holiday; After not visiting for an entire year it was a much needed and long over due trip. Since moving away at 18, this was the longest period I had stayed away from home. This past year has been so challenging that I didn’t have the confidence to go on vaca, in fear of missing a gig. Needless to say I was required to return early for a call back on a project I auditioned for prior to leaving LA. (It’s apart of the business)

However, I wanted to write this entry because I realized something that could very well be the entire reason God saw fit to make this trip a reality.

For years now, I begin each day with a to do list. More recently I have begun praying over my to do list in the morning before I start to tackle it. If I’m not acting, I'm auditioning, if I'm not auditioning I’m preparing to audition, if I'm not preparing I’m researching, I’m always doing something in reference to my career. I simply can’t afford a day off and with the past year I’ve had I can’t afford a minute off. Which leads me to my point. I didn’t confirm I was leaving until the last second.  I didn’t even feel good about leaving until I saw my family, but I didn’t realize God’s purpose of this trip until I had a conversation with my cousin just before my flight departed BWI. She said probably w/out even realizing it

“Kiva, I’m so proud of you. You said you were going to do it and your doing it. No matter what is working or not working your doing it. How did you even know what to do? How did you even get on TV?”

I didn’t realize there is someone somewhere who is not only proud but also trying to understand HOW; I was able to accomplish what I have. I got lost in the pursuit. I look at my vision board each day and as the year winds down, my stomach hurts because I see all the things I haven’t yet accomplished. I got caught up in the bills that have been late this year. I got blindsided by the jobs I almost booked but didn’t. The agent relationship that wasn’t ideal. I never stopped thanking God but I seem to have forgot that you must enjoy the journey. There are others celebrating ‘my now’ and I’m missing out because I’m looking forward to my ‘tomorrow’.

I needed that reality check.  I needed to realize that ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER! The bad is sometimes better than the good and the good is just preparation for your best. Each day we are on assignment. The work your doing today is so your kids won’t have to lay the same ground tomorrow and regardless of what has been achieved so far and what hasn’t, your victory is in the journey. Your promise is for an appointed time and you must enjoy your now. Because you are exactly where God needs you to be, in order to use you for HIS glory.

Thanks for reading. Be Blessed! Respect the Process and remember to rest, even God rested on day 7, trust him to do everything you need done in 6days and observe the Sabbath!!

Nikiva Dionne