Jesus was homeless 2

This past week I’ve been to
*Panera to use Internet and eat.
*The mall because they have air and comfy chairs to read in
*Every friends event because I have nowhere else to be 

and I’m currently dressed in my Sundays best including a $1,000 pair of shoes and NO place to take em off or even take a nap after church on a Sunday.  Yes, I thought of selling the shoes, the bags, the clothes but God said no. (he only puts on me what I can bare, lol) Humbling but Promising times. I’m so full of his promise that it’s hard to be consumed with my current reality.

Btw my reality is,  I’m knocking on 30 w/ two degrees from Berkeley, a resume and skill set that could wrap around the block, yet I’m homeless.  I find God hilarious that he put it on my heart months and months ago to begin feeding the homeless, only for me to find for the first time in my life, I too am now homeless. He is something else.

When I started serving on skid row I was dumb founded when I realized I was praying prayers for others that were parallel to those of which I prayed for myself everyday. I began praying that every time I prayed, I wanted God to consider my prayers as the prayers of others. This is no mistake and it also isn’t by accident. I chose to follow God entirely and completely 2 years ago and following him means u’ll go places you’ve never been, see things as you’ve never seen them before and that I’ve done, lol..  but I’m not done yet.  In praying for others I ALWAYS  assure them that what they’ve done isn’t the reason for where they are. I want to take the burden off their shoulders so they can place it on God. However, as I faced a new ‘low’ in my life I find myself trying to ‘understand’ how my obedience let me get here. God how do u bring me to THIS, when I’ve been the best me ever? God, I’ve been faithful, obedient, I’ve stepped when u told me to, I’ve walked away from when you said it was time to go, I’ve always worked my butt off, I was never lazy.. Than God said Shut up! This has nothing to do w/ you. If u have wanted others to release a false reality that they are to blame for where they currently are.. than u too must release the false reality that because u follow me u will be exempt from certain lows.

I feel insane because all I kept thinking was, how beautiful this story will be one day when the destiny is achieved. However, it’s beautiful now! I have to find the beauty in his promise even before the promise is realized. No matter how ugly I feel, I feel his grace. I know HE is proud of me that I haven’t lost my mind, even though I lost my home. But I’m tired! I haven’t lost faith but I’ve lost energy. If I’m honest w/ myself I can say I’ve reached a place where I have no energy left. I find myself talking to God in pain. I can barely muster up a word but I manage because all my hope is in him. Things seem to have gotten so bad that Kiva has finally relinquished all control over to the one who controls it all. Isn’t that something!! Some people are so hard headed he has to remove all hope u have in yourself so that u can rest all ur hopes in him.

This blog has been nothing but MY TRUTH since day 1. I may not look like what I’ve been through but I’m going through.. The word tense is what matters.. I’M GOING!!
He wanted to bring me to lows where only he can lift me.

I can’t say everything that he is revealing in this time but I will leave with this, Jesus said

'Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the son of man has no place even to lay his head'
                                                                                                                    Matthew 8:20

I loved my apartment, but my comfortable lifestyle didn't provide the lessons of trusting him that God needed me to learn. He loves me, so he chastens me, he test me to know my heart and I'll lose everything but I will NOT stop following what he told me to do. The righteous will never be forsaken! I had to go through this to get to the next level now im qualified for this overflow in THIS season.

"On a mission to make God famous!"

Thanks 4 reading


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