I left BMORE 2 BE MORE


  I had no idea how selfish I must seem to God. I left Baltimore at 18 years old. Since the time I left I think I’ve probably mentioned 10,000 times the things I gave up to pursue this dream. The relationships I walked away from, The graduations, birthdays, mothers days and parties I miss out on, etc. While I realized early on that Baltimore had nothing to offer me in terms of my career, it’s my home. There are certain things and people you can’t get from anywhere else in the world, but ur home.  Than suddenly you leave and how you remember home to be, changes each time you return.  Baltimore will never be the same. I think when I left I wanted it to stay the same. I wanted my friends to always be there, I wanted the hope and carefree feelings of childhood to remain, I wanted to pick up rite where I left off each time I left and came back… but life keeps going and it took losing a life long friend for me to understand
                      “God gave me this dream & it may have saved my life”

I get sooooo caught up in how HARD it is to pursue your dream that I forget how HARD, DEBILITATING AND UNINSPIRING it must be to NOT PURSUE IT.  I use to hate getting back on the bus to return to NY and even now I cry every time I board a flight to leave Baltimore. However, before I cried because I felt like I was leaving something behind. Now, I cry because I have no idea if what I’m leaving will actually be there when I return.  

God, I praise you anyhow! All those years I had no idea that lil voice in my head was Gods whisper all along. When it seemed easier to just go back home, He kept me. When my rent was more than my families mortgage he made ways out of no way, when my heart was broken when I had to choose my dream over my relationship, I found my strength in him. I realize, finally that everything works out when you are living in your purpose.  We serve a God of Restoration and God says

                                     I will repay you for all the years the locust
                                  have eaten…your old men will dream
                                  dreams, your young men will see visions…
                                                                                    Joel 2:25

 I had to leave BMORE in order to Be More but my story will be one of restoration. The vision God has given me will restore all of what I’ve lost and inspire dreamers to dream and trust that God will provide provisions for the vision.
   
R.IP. Yarnny  :,-(  They say we are our most innocent and honest selves when we are children. We laugh, live and love w/ out inhibitions. I don’t remember my childhood w/out you and Noddie in it. I thank God for sharing your life with me and I pray your soul is at peace and your family is restored and comforted within God’s promises.

Thanks for reading

NIKIVA DIONNE

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