THIS S#%T IS HARD
It’s hard, but not because there aren’t enough roles, or I can’t find agents that get me, or any of the other ‘cliché’ reasons. It’s hard because IT’S LONELY! I’m starting to feel that I can’t trust anyone with my dream. The fact that I’m pursuing this dream according to his word, I’m easily offended when someone else doesn’t respect my ‘grind’. I’m offended because I DON’T HAVE A CHOICE, he chose me! What I do, just as well as what I won’t do, is a reflection of my obedience to Gods plan. It’s sad when something so pure, genuine and ordained by God has to be guarded from the very people that claim they LOVE HIM. I can’t believe that I have to hide God’s blessings from saints #heartbroken
These lessons are hard and they are hard because they are a prerequisite for what I will endure at the appointed time of his promise. Pastor Toure’ Roberts said
“Don’t step into this industry needing anything”
You must be humbled and on assignment. My thought process is 'I don't have...because God says I don't need it'... because the moment you lose site of what GOD is doing through you, the world is able to point out that 'your naked' but when you were focused on God, you never realized ur nakedness. Now you're sidetracked and trying to find clothes when God already purposed to give you everything at the appointed time. If you know me, you know that not many people can get to me. I’m one of those, if you doubt me you’ll get added to the ‘I’ll prove you wrong list’ but the people who get to me are those that I’ve allowed to get close to me. So what is God doing? He is using the people I’d least expect to reveal some of the ugliest ,worldly emotions. The people that are close to me are the ones as of late to quickly point out what I DON’T HAVE. Lol, when I tell you I’ve been blindsided a few times, God sure has a sense of humor, yall. I had NO IDEA that so much of me needed and still needs to be remodeled in him. Daily I’m amazed at how he brings me to my knees in order for me to begin standing on his word.
I truly believe that my journey of life so far has all been to get me to where he has me now, SEEKING HIM! Even when I thought I was making the decision NOT to ACT, God was orchestrating those decisions to show me how to ACT. It’s NOT on YOUR TIME it’s on GOD’s TIME.
It kills me when people are on a race against an imaginary clock! You have no idea what time my clock is set to expire, so what makes you think I only have ‘this’ much time? This business will send you insane if you let it! Everyone trying to look younger or be cast younger.. If God purposed for you to be on Nickelodeon at 18, you would have been there at 18, not 10 years later trying to look like an 18 year old. It’s NOT YOUR PLAN, if you were meant for NICKELODEON you WILL be on NICKELODEON WHEN GOD SAYS YOU SHOULD BE THERE!
Prime example, I have submitted to Modeling agencies in LA since I got to LA.. I was working full time and had very little confidence in trying to begin an acting career but Modeling, I had experience. So I always submitted, however I never received the response I was seeking. NOW for Every 5 submissions I make, I’ve gotten a call from 3. IT’S NOT MY TIME, IT’S GOD’S TIME.
Everyone is looking at the next person, trying to determine, where they are. Let me help you..
You don’t know the things that make my cross heavy, so don’t envy my muscles, God equipped me with them to carry ‘my cross’. You don’t know the storms God has planned purposely for me to walk into, so don’t wonder why he gave me new Burberry rain boots.
I’ll close with this,
“I am perfectly placed in the place that God plans to perfect his promised plans 4me”
No Sugar: This shit is hard, so carry your cross and don’t be so busy trying to figure out how far or hard someone else’s road will be.
Thanks 4 reading guys,
"The proof is in the sacrifice"