What's with the Superman Complex?


  I started dating a 16. I was also living alone at 16. Not to mention School, Work and Fashion show practice. From early on I took on a great deal of responsibility. I started working at 11 for crying out loud, not because my mom made me, I just felt capable. Growing up it was nothing to walk in the house and see Diddy (that’s my mom) on a ladder, painting. I guess that’s why I’ve never been one to sit around and expect others to do something I knew I was competent enough to handle.

In a casual conversation I think I learned something I’ve been trying to figure out since I started dating..

What gives someone (a woman) the natural ability to have faith in someone else’s ability( a man) ?  I mean total faith that this person will come thru and make decisions that are consistently mutually beneficial. Well, in that sentence lies the answer…  but I’ll get back to that ;-)

 I’ve cohabitated but I’ve never moved in w/ someone else and I’ve noticed in relationships, when the trashcan is full I go to take the bag out, because i'm use to it or when a bill is due, I’m marking it on the calendar to pay it. There are diff. experiences where I’m like Kiva, u don’t have to do everything and I’ve also been told Kiva, you don’t have to do everything, lol ohhh and a few times I've also wanted to be told Kiva u didn't have to do everything, lol.. but It’s actually been something I’ve had to make a conscious effort to ‘not do’ things, I was capable of doing, in order to show respect and empower my partner. The truth is we are all human. We will undoubtedly mess up, whether ill intentions were there or not, NO ONE is perfect. Yet how do u trust that your home will always remain in tact, through ‘inevitable storms’…

My bishop says “The house doesn’t fall because of the storm, it falls because when the storm came it wasn’t built on the rite foundation” #message lol

I thank God that although I haven't had many relationships of the few I've had, I really haven’t dated knuckleheads. I’m also glad for each experience and relationship I’ve had because it’s taught me so much about what I need and expect in a partner… I finally know what the common thread, missing link and/or what the stress reliever is or has been.

 Knowing God’s power gives you peace!

There is NO job that’s guaranteed consistent success and income for the rest of anyone’s life, there is no home that will consistently cost the same amount, no car that will not depreciate but what I know is. When the economy is bad, the basement floods, the car gets stolen no matter what unforeseen circumstances will occur a man that knows God’s power will always provide a calm in the midst of a hurricane in any household.  #MESSAGE

I’ve never been the girl to plan her wedding as a child, or ever expect guys to take care of me, I never wanted superman. But, I’ve always wanted a partner. A good woman (IMO) wants a man that won’t lose his mind even if they lose their home. Your career and its success doesn’t say much about the character of a man (ie: mr. madoff). I don’t care how much money u have, if the Dr. says I have a terminal illness. My husband’s money can’t cure it. I need my husband to know how to go to God on my behalf and know that God alone is a healer and that this experience is apart of our future testimony.
 I don’t want superman because hell I’m not superwoman but there is something that life’s experiences have revealed to be a non negotiable, and it’s the fear of God. I heard a sermon where a pastor said in every conversation I’m looking for Jesus.. and I’m thinking..

 “God where r u in this conversation? And if you don’t show up soon… I’m leaving”
well, I think that’s a pretty good rule of thumb, lol..

No Sugar:  A good woman does not want superman. She wants a constant, that man that can be the provider, or the shoulder, or the cheerleader. That rare man that understands that storms are apart of life and he can only face those storms with God and the woman God has created for him.  You can be the head of our household honey but you have to know that God is really in charge and humble yourself to his will. If someone is better at doing the bills than that's who does the bills. Your gender doesn't qualify you, your ability to operate with an expecting heart to the one who provides it all is what keeps you at the forefront of your household.


Thanks, so much, for reading guys and being apart of this journey with me.

Nikiva Dionne

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