Don't settle set standards



I use to think Actors were paid liars.. However, I couldn’t draw a direct correlation because I am the most honest person I know! Yet I’m an Actress. However in studying acting I’ve learned that Acting is actually the most vulnerable career anyone could pursue. You are expected to deal in fictional circumstances how you would deal in real life. Which requires honesty with yourself that not very many people can fathom and once u begin studying to break down certain emotional barriers it’s hard to segment them in other facets of life.

For example: look in the mirror and ask yourself out loud.

How do I feel?
And the first thing that comes to your mind say it and keep asking your self how do I feel and answering. Don’t think about it, just feel and keep going with a constant stream of conscious. And after a few min. tell me if you didn’t bust out crying, lol..

It forces you to acknowledge YOUR truth. Ever have a feeling in the pit of your stomach but try to disregard the urgent desire to fix it. Well that’s because u know in fixing, it will hurt. This blog is literally my outlet. It’s my way to be 100% Kiva and the fact that I appreciate this vehicle for inspiring my honesty, it convicts me to remain HONEST..

With that being said.. Where do you guys stand on “SETTLING”?

I personally have an uncompromising spirit that I feel has kept me out of certain situations and when I have “compromised” I found myself in the middle of avoidable dumb shit… sorry I wrote it how I felt it, lol. (I’ll add sugar later, lol)

What I mean is.. I have friends who deal with the cheating dudes, or ½ truths as they call em, or the baby mama situations etc. I can go on forever.. but, I personally can say I haven’t dealt with an unfaithful or ½ truth telling or omitting Omar in YEARS.. So I don’t relate very well to those situations.. I’ve attributed that “success” (if that can even remotely be considered success) to that fact that I have a UN compromising level of expectation. Honesty= Respect. I give everyone 100% of me and in return I expect you to be honest with me…now there I’ll digress because my point isn’t that, my point is.

How do u NOT know when your settling or hell is ur mate the one settling?

I went out this weekend and I was in environments that I’m not typically in.. I’m not a drinker, so I don’t go to bars.. But, all weekend I’m exposed to the rigmarole of how people act when they drink and what’s “acceptable” to say and do when you have a drink or two.  It really boggles the damn mind! However, I think it’s important to expose yourself to other surroundings on occasion. Well I’m overexposed after this weekend. I didn’t have a bad time though because I truly learned something amazing! (tell u in a min) It’s funny how when you don’t chose to DO what everyone else DOES you feels a sense of insecurity. I consider myself confidant. Hell, I have a career where I face more rejection in a month than some people will in a lifetime. Yet here I am! I find myself 2nd guessing my worth in an environment that is beneath me. Can you imagine measuring yourself up to people who don’t measure up? Now this isn’t meant to sound cocky but my bishop says, “Your confidence is a reflection of how big your God is”  so I can attest to how big my GOD is in my world. Rite?

Anyway,what I mean is..
Your relationships are a reflection of how you view yourself… period. I listen to people saying how awful their relationship is. I can’t help but think if you will tell me, a stranger how awful your relationship is, I feel even more sorry for your partner because u have ZERO loyalty to him and you know him.  It’s amazing the mind of an ‘opportunist’.  I find it extremely disheartening that God orchestrates certain relationships and we allow our worldly minds to destroy them. How do you not protect something that God put together? If it’s not you’re life partner, if it’s not the fairytale ending, regardless. How do you not protect that person who trusted you with their heart? I mean I’m a complete stranger and u leave your partner that vulnerable in front of my face and mock him. It just really forces me to look at what I require from those around me. It also forces me to consider mentally where I was when I accepted certain things that were clearly less than I deserved.. I swear loyalty is non-existent and it’s because as women we don’t require men to regard us as the delicate flowers we are. I personally find myself wearing a public persona of strength but feeling totally vulnerable and disrespected when someone doesn’t acknowledge my worth. However you can’t blame others. If someone is a priority in your life, it’s because you made him or her that. Check ya self-first than you’ll require more form others

I remember a dude who I wouldn’t sleep with in college (who’s still trying til this day) telling me “U take yaself to seriously, you ain’t all that” lmbo. Good thing I didn’t let that get to me (insert ‘look at me now theme music) lol..

No Sugar: I don’t care if we’ve been together 5 years, if we’re broken up today, hell if we just met.. If I’ve given you my time, I deserve your respect. Treat me how you expect me to treat you, that way whether it works out or not in the end, there will be mutual respect. I love my Ex’s all of em, lol. and I pray that one-day all of my past relationships will come full circle and that we can speak and pray for each others success. After all, they are a reflection of me.  However, when u settle u set yaself up to be disrespected. There is someone who will appreciate everything that YOU are and that doesn't mean you have to compromise, yourself out of happiness

Thanx so much for reading I truly appreciate your support

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NIKIVA DIONNE

Comments

  1. Can you get out of my head please? Lmbo. This sounds like my journal as I'm discerning which way God wants me to go in some relationships in my life. If God put someone in our lives, you are absolutely right about not messing it up with worldly dramas. Love it.

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