Is it who you are or how your perceived?

My inspiration for this entry stemmed from a few diff. circumstances in my life that made me conjure this very question

                                 “What message are you sending”?

There is a Cosby episode when Vanessa bought her much older fiancé’ Dabnis bricky home to meet her family. Towards the end of the episode Cliff explains to them that the family never had a problem with Dabnis, they had a problem with, in fact how she presented Dabnis.

You see, nessa (as Dabnis called her) already thought before she introduced Dabnis that her family wouldn’t like him for whatever reasons, so she hid him from her family than suddenly popped up and made everyone feel awkward.

Cliff’s explanation was simply put.

“You can offer me my favorite dinner …steak, potatoes, veggies, whatever.  You know it’s my favorite dinner, but if you serve it to me on a trash can top, I don’t want it!” It had potential to be my favorite, but your presentation killed it”

I’m so cautious these days about what I say to people. I don’t want to miss an opportunity so I’m calculating my response b4 I respond.  Or I’m proof reading 10 millions times before I push send. (because I know I come across harsh J)

My pt. is, the power of perception is so extremely vast and beyond your control that you almost have to expect and predetermine at least a 3diff. ways that you will un doubtly be perceived. With that being said you have to be definitive in what message you are trying to send even when your message seems fool proof to you.

There are times when I’m on set and people are extremely unprofessional but I know that “my unprofessionalism” wouldn’t be received the same way that theirs is so I don’t act as they do.

There are times when I blog and get some of the responses and I’m thinking there is no way this fool could have perceived it like that.

The reality is this. We believe what we want to believe. We interpret how we see fit, we filter what’s conducive for where we are at the present time and we are selective, because WE CAN BE.

You don’t have to cast me but I think you should, You have a choice to hire me but I think you should, you don’t have to like me but I don’t understand how you couldn’t…

Since we know that there are so many diff. perceptions out there about who we are before we get a chance to show who we are, the things we must consider is this.

*I know a few things I can do to ensure you do not perceive me a certain way
*I know a few things I can do to ensure you will perceive me a certain way
*I know a few things I can refrain from doing to ensure you won’t come at me that way

With that being said
We have the freedom to express ourselves through our art, music, dress, speech etc. but with that freedom to express also comes that freedom to interpret.

In essence, so much of how people view you is beyond your control that you must control what you have the power to perpetuate. (Message, lol)

I finally understand so much of how I am perceived. While I don’t always agree with how I’m perceived all the time, there are times when I know that I should acknowledge the perception if I want to receive a certain response.

I realize in Hollywood some of the decisions I make initially may make my life harder but I’m hoping those same decisions will ultimately make my life easier ;-)

No sugar: You serving t&a you going to get buyers who want t&a. My mother said to me along time ago. You are who you attract; lol… god if that isn’t the truth.

Just in case I’m perceived differently from who I truly am

I’m a fulltime actress, model, host.. I’m a hustler, I work when your sleeping, I work when your working, I work and don’t realize I’m working. I am in a relationship I’m not seeking or tapping into what once was or could potentially be. I am in the most uncertain of places that I’ve ever been, in my life, but I feel I have more happiness and direction than I’ve ever had before. I write to inspire, I write to release, and I write to learn from all of you. NO, I haven’t made it, but I WILL…. And I can only hope that this journey is to ensure when I do, I’m perceived as the God fearing, dedicated, PASSIONATE, woman that I truly am.

Thanks for your time guys (you know it's hard out here for a pimp) dieing laughing




  1. LOVE THIS!, I have been realizing in the past several months of my life how truly important perception is...and on a weirdly related note, our perceptions are sometimes, actually often, far from the "truth"... we see/read/hear things, and think we have the whole story. Its taught me not to jump to conclusions. Little things keep happening all around me that makes me realize this even more. I have paragraphs in my head to explain what I mean and give examples of how deep this goes, but this is your blog, not mine, LOL! hehe, Thanks for the "Sugar", i think im using that in the right context, LOL

  2. Thanks Nia... love your feedback.. and your welcome for the sugar,lol


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