Is it lonely at the top, or is just on the way to the top?

"Whoever you are, or whatever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you REALLY want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth." Paulo Coelho

While this quote provides so much hope it also raises so many questions.

If what I want is my life's mission, will it take my life time to achieve it?

If I close my eyes real tight, and allow my mind to wonder into the depths of my dreams. There lye's a dream I had sooo many years ago and if I speak today, candidly as if no one is around to judge me, in my current truth- my past dream in lies the same.

It just won't go away!

I knew my life's mission since b4 I can remember. There were days when it was so clear, there were months when I denied it wholeheartedly, there were years when I embraced it conveniently, and there were times when it was so undeniable it consumed me.

What I've begun learning in recent months is..

It's not about how long it takes to achieve it, if you truly trust that it's yours regardless, life becomes more so about living within it's promise rather than living within a time table.

If you truly have faith, than respecting the process shouldn't be so hard. Living life shouldn't present so many debilitating emotions. So much apprehension shouldn't arise when I speak to declare what it is that I do.

On the contrary if these very things didn't occur to stop me, my life's mission would have been over along time ago.
Does that mean I would have died? Or I would have lost purpose? Or would I be on to another mission by now? (yes mom, I could have been a lawyer, I can argue both sides of everything lol.. anywhooo)


It's my life's mission, my life has purpose and anyone i meet, and decision I make, anything I do or choose not to do, will ultimately effect my life's mission. Therefore the very people who desire to be around you or get to know you or simply spend time with you, will more often than not hear...

I like you but... I wouldn't mind going, however, I feel like, just wouldn't understand, therefore no I can't go, ok, yes for a min., not interested, no thank you, i appreciate it, but..

I said all of that to say...

Don't judge me for my decisions, they are apart of my life's mission :)

Thank you all for being apart of my mission and whether you like it or not, I'm now apart of yours,(insert evil laugh here)...

NO Sugar= Don't compromise a dream that is tailored for you, no one will always understand you, but there is someone who is intrigued, challenged, motivated and inspired by you. Go for it bitch!

"The proof is in the sacrifice"


  1. I often become extremely frustrated as I travel this unconventional journey Kiva. To be 100% honest, I forced myself to cry this morning after dropping my nana off at the hairdresser, simply to release my embedded levels of stress. I sometimes feel that Im losing my faith, though I know the good lord didnt bring me this far simply to allow me to fall. Though you and I want different things in this world, each of our passions are aligned along the same artistic path. I cant help but to grow impatient and annoyed as I watch others garner the opportunities that I KNOW I am just as skilled and talented to handle. Thats the selfish part of my character. I see that I have thousands of people from around the world who read my website and watch my videos in drove numbers on a daily basis. Still, here I am, 30 years old, and STRUGGLING LIKE SHIT.

    I then realize that what God may have for me, exists along a different plateau than those who I gaze upon and wonder...? I am encouraged each day by the many young men and women who are connected to my messages and my platform. I feel their energy, which in turn, filters mine. I thank GOD for placing me upon the path he did 2 years ago; June 2008. Im simply in a place now where I cant stand this WAITING process. I honestly feel that I have put in the WORK, and am now ready for the REWARD. Where is it Kiva? If you're hiding it in one of your many purses, Im going to be quite pissed. HAND IT OVER! Smiles. I LOVE all of your new photos, BTW.

    Xem VanAdams - Writer/Blogger/Youtube Personality

    'Conquering The WORLD, One WORD At A Time' |

  2. Xemmy bear!!! "You must dig where your tears fall" That's another Choelo quote... Basically, in that very place where you feel discouraged, pain, doubt,fear, is the very place you invest your skills and rely on your faith..

    I have seen you go from focued, excited, inspired to challenged and apprehensive all in the very same moment. I must say, in your moments of apprehension is when you've uncovered the most depth. Those are the times you learned the most.. I'm so excited for what god is doing in your life...loving you...
    PS: I'm so very new tot hsi blog thing, i'll take any tips you have.. mr. blog king

    WWW.XEMVANADMAS.COM: check em outttttt


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